when ur eating dinner at your friends house
and their parents start arguing
and you want to ask for the salt
but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce
when you receive a sweet anon out of nowhere and you’re like
I love this because you can’t tell who’s the anon and who’s the receiver.
flamingos really piss me off like what the hell are they doing??????
lookin 4 tha party
nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing
I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?
yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate
i like you
The rest of the space is going to be pretty pissed when they see this.
did you google how to take a screen shot
Early in her marriage, Queen Victoria had a very racy portrait painted of herself as a gift to her new husband. When she gave it to Albert, he found it so sexy, he hid in his private office so that there would be no chance of anyone ever seeing it on accident. The portrait was only recently deemed acceptable for release, but please, only click below if you are over 18 as this portrait is not suitable for children:
*prints this tweet, rolls a cigarette with it, and puts it between my teeth without lighting it*